It is my opinion that the statement, "It's not God's Will" is a cop out. When things don't go the way you want them to, or you want an excuse to give up on something, or just a plain excuse to get out of something then out pops "Well it's not God's Will." Let me explain...
I've heard this statement for much of my life. One of the most memorable times it was used on me was during college when I was dating this fellow that I really liked a lot. He seemed to like me too. But, one day after winter vacation he handed me this line - It's not God's Will for us to be together. I don't know when God decided to have a conversation with him about our relationship, but one week all was well, the next week I "wasn't God's will". Honestly, I will never see this any differently, but I believe this was simply an easy way out of the relationship. I mean, when you use "it's not God's will" how can the other person say ANYTHING in response? At the time I was far less outgoing than I am now, if someone ever said that to me today I'd instantly say "bullshit" but back then I was simply left in shock, and even a little bit of anger that God had decided I wasn't worth dating. Yes, that is how it seemed to me by this fellow using that line. He was a coward, he should have just said "I don't want to date you anymore." But no, Christians have that very useful cop out from having to truly explain anything - "It's not God's Will".
I also think that the church / Christianity has ingrained into people this concept of being in God's Will / out of God's Will so much that a lot of times people give up way too easy. This could be because of several things, one being that they really didn't want to do the thing anyway so it's a very easy excuse to say it's not God's Will at this time / ever. Another could be that they have been taught this concept of praying for things / getting answers from God that as soon as things start going badly they just think it's not God's will and stop trying. How many people's dreams have been crushed by some pastor or person telling them when the going gets rough, that it must not be the will of God, and they have stopped trying? It makes me sick to think of this.
In my past I've also seen this concept used to control the members in a church so they do what the leadership wants. For example, I remember my parents putting a for sale sign up in our yard when I was younger and then it wasn't long after that, it was taken down and our plans changed. Apparently, the leadership of our church did not think it was God's will for us to move. They wanted us to stay, and yes I am cynical and have great hatred for this church but I honestly believe that they were trying to control my family because the church was small, and my dad tithed exactly what he was told to tithe even if it meant we ate poorly or did without some things. I just cannot fathom the idea that these church leaderships were able to communicate with God so easily that they had the ability to tell MY FAMILY what they could or could not do by using the concept of "not God's Will".
People give up too quickly, all under the concept of it not being God's will. I don't know how many people I've heard say things like this, where they've attempted something once or twice, and because it did not open up completely for them, they were told or they decided themselves that it wasn't God's will for them. They often times mourn this, and ask for prayer to accept this.... sounds like hogwash to me. You have to work hard to get anything in this world. Don't fall into the habit of using this concept to not follow your desires and dreams. As an example, do you think that famous authors or actors get a big job or recognition as soon as they decide they want to follow that path? Or even thinking of King Tut since I lead tours for that exhibit...Howard Carter searched YEARS for Tut's tomb, using up tons of money and all he found was a mummified cat for many, many years. It would have been a shame for him to decide after those years that it simply wasn't the will of God to find Tut's tomb and give up. No, he did not though, he kept on striving, kept on working and persevering and eventually did find Tut's tomb. I'm not saying that some things simply aren't in the stars for some people, I'm just cautioning against giving up too soon all under the guise of "not God's Will".
So think about this.... "It's not God's Will" as the answer to these dilemmas...I don't agree with:
An easy way out of a relationship. Friend or romantic.
A way for church leadership to control their members.
A way to stifle creativity or growth.
A means to control your children's future.
Pure laziness and/or not wishing to make changes.
An excuse to never move out of your comfort zone.
I've been burned numerous times by this phrase, "It's not God's will" so this is my viewpoint only. I'm not trying to force my way of thinking on you, I simply wished to share. I just want you to think, next time before you say something isn't in the will of God, just think through whether you are using it as an excuse or if you really and truly think that all doors on whatever endeavor you are talking about is really not something for you.